I’m currently sharing some of my past most-loved-content. The below is an updated version of one of my most popular posts from 2015.

As humans, we are hardwired to seek pleasure and to avoid pain. As children, this desire is the driving principle behind all choices and is about immediate gratification. 

But as we enter adulthood, we learn to delay gratification. We learn to rationalise the desire for long-term pleasure and will endure short-term pain and sacrifice for later satisfaction. 

Fear As Motivation

We regularly attempt to use fear as a way of seeking these long-term results. We believe that fear will help keep us motivated to delay gratification in the anticipation of something better.

We focus on how unhappy we are with our bodies and create a sense of fear that this will go on unless we make changes. 

This then becomes the impetus for “eating better” or getting to the gym or whatever changes we choose to make. 

The problem with this is that while fear can be an effective motivator, typically this only works in the short term. It might help you get to the gym for a couple of weeks or might help you eat better for a little while, but over the long haul, it just doesn’t last. 

The same is true with eating disorder recovery. Trying to “fear” someone into making changes rarely works. In the short-term, they may get a scare and start to modify behaviours. But fairly shortly, they hit a wall that fear can’t push them through and they are back to being stuck. 

Do Near Death Experiences Motivate Change?

A great demonstration of the limitations of fear comes from a 2014 report from Canada about heart attack and stroke survivors. 

Having a stroke or heart attack is a pretty major event. In the majority of cases, diet and lifestyle habits are at least a contributing factor for why someone has one of these events. 

This is the kind of thing that we’d expect would make someone reassess their life and think “I need to make a change.” 

And this is exactly what the Canadian report showed, with 6 out of 10  survivors going so far as to equate surviving the episode with being given a second chance at life and no longer taking their health for granted.

But what is interesting is that when it came to making these changes, more than 50% couldn’t maintain it or didn’t try at all. Despite possibly the biggest wake-up call someone could get, it was an effective long-term motivator for less than half the survivors.  

Fear As A Spark For Change

But this is how most people approach making changes, particularly around food and lifestyle. Something happens that induces a sense of fear or worry or negativity. 

You go to the doctor for a check-up and they lecture you about your weight and why you need to lower it.

You watch a documentary about the power of x diet. It tells you if you are not following it, you are likely to die younger and increase your risk of chronic diseases. 

You book a summer holiday, do the math and discover that there are only seven weeks until you go away. And can’t possibly go while looking like this. 

You decide that this is it; this is now going to be your time to make changes. 

Week one is easy, week two is not so bad either. But as time goes on, the tougher it gets. The fear that you had on that initial day slowly starts to lose its power as you don’t get the “results” as quickly as you’d hoped. 

Sure, you‘re happy to defer gratification, but now you’re wondering if it’s ever actually going to happen. 

Are you going to get that body you’re after or is this just making you miserable with no long-term payoff? You were so determined but now it just seems like a lot of hard work. So it becomes more and more likely you are going to chuck in the towel. 

(And this isn’t just about a lack of willpower. Normally the changes that are being made are unsustainable and causing your physiology to fight back at you.) 

The problem with fear as a motivator is that it is limited in its ability to create motivation over the long term. It can be a helpful spark for some people, but if this is all they’ve got, it’s highly likely to lead to failure. 

Pleasure Instead Of Pain

As humans, we seek pleasure and avoid pain. While some negative event can initially start out as the pain to avoid, over time, exercise or “healthy eating” can become the new pain to avoid. 

Therefore, it’s important to create ways to actually enjoy the process of change. 

To do things in ways that are sustainable, where you are regularly creating a new normal based on small changes. Where you don’t have to constantly convince yourself of the future pleasure you’ll receive, because you are enjoying the current situation as well.  

I have no way of knowing, but my hunch is that those who had a heart attack and kept up with their new lifestyle didn’t do it purely because of fear. They learnt to enjoy the changes so they didn’t feel like a chore but felt appreciative of the opportunity to get to do this stuff. 

If you’re someone who constantly uses fear as a driving mechanism for change, I suggest it’s worth finding a new motivator. One that supports you over the long term, rather than just for a couple of weeks. 

At Seven Health, we focus on client-led habit formation. We support you to make changes so they become a lasting part of your daily life. 

I’m a leading expert and advocate for full recovery. I’ve been working with clients for over 15 years and understand what needs to happen to recover.

I truly believe that you can reach a place where the eating disorder is a thing of the past and I want to help you get there. If you want to fully recover and drastically increase the quality of your life, I’d love to help.

Want to get a FREE online course created specifically for those wanting full recovery? Discover the first 5 steps to take in your eating disorder recovery. This course shows you how to take action and the exact step-by-step process. To get instant access, click the button below.