From Quasi Recovery To Full Recovery

Over the last decade, my practice has slowly evolved.

Initially, it was helping those who were stuck on the dieting merry-go-round to find a different way to be with food.

With time, it morphed more into disordered eating and helping people for whom food and exercise were having an even bigger impact on their life.

And with more time, it moved into eating disorders. Often, working with clients who have been trapped for decades and have been unable to find their way out.

While I still work with chronic dieters and disordered eating, people struggling with eating disorders now make up the majority of my practice. 

In October 2020 I started working with Sarah. She’d recently turned 30 and had been living with an eating disorder since her teen years. 

Over this time she had tried many things and life was better than at its worst. But she was still squarely trapped within the eating disorder, in a place of quasi recovery. And this was having a huge impact on her physical, mental and emotional health. 

Sarah and I worked together for 18 months and the changes that she has seen during this time are simply incredible.

Below I have included Sarah’s thoughts on the time that we have worked together and how things have shifted for her: 

“I began working with Chris over a year ago, and I could never imagine feeling the way I do, or being the person I am today without his help. My world has got so much bigger, and so much better, despite letting go of so many things that I thought I valued, that told me they kept me safe, and that I thought gave me community.

They were all empty and all consuming. I think secretly I knew that, and that’s why I sought out help. 

I first came across Chris through his blog posts.

It was the first time I’d ever read something that honestly spoke to everything I was going through.

They made me uncomfortable, like someone could read my mind, or see through my facade, but also made me feel understood and cared for, in a way that no one ever had.

I’d been back and forth to doctors, tried every therapy, holistic treatment, and wellness tactic going, but I felt like crap, every day, mentally and physically. I was convinced there was something seriously wrong with me.

To me, these were not ED symptoms, they didn’t make sense, I was eating so there must be something medically wrong. 

This went on for years, through severe burnout, stress, depression, extreme highs and extreme lows. It was a number of years before I listened to Chris’ podcast on quasi recovery and I knew in an instant it was me. All those weird symptoms were not unrelated, they were very related, and I needed support. 

I had of course read and intellectualised everything on the topic of recovery, nutrition, health, and in many ways knew everything about it. However, this was part of the curse. I believed I was an expert and was the healthy one, I was superior, and was disgusted by others. 

The reality is I was lured in by a culture that feeds off vulnerable people, emotions and insecurity.

I had socially legitimised my ED in so many different ways. From mainstream diets or preferences, to fitness and hustle culture, to wellness gurus. I was living a lie. 

Chris helped me see through all of this. It took time, but I never felt rushed, or like I was failing. I didn’t even notice how long it was taking.

He treated me and my emotions with respect, made them feel legitimate, but also normal, and totally without judgement. I had never experienced this before, it allowed me to break down my own barriers.

It was the first time I’d been totally honest with a practitioner, because I felt safe and understood. I still to this day don’t quite know how Chris ‘gets it’ so well!

He made me see that my ED reached way beyond food and had invaded so many areas of my life. Patterns, rigidity, control. It was everywhere and made it even harder to escape. 

As I progressed through my recovery with Chris, I noticed it more and more. It made me sad. I’ve always craved freedom, and adventure, and aspire to be a free spirit but my life has been governed by rules, ‘discipline’, and achievement. I’ve lived with it so long it was hard to see where the true me lay, between the desire to run away and be free, and the ‘discipline’.

The truth is – somewhere in between, and they actually are compatible once they are both approached in a healthy manner. Both extremes were a way of numbing my feelings and I now see that.

From the outside, I appeared to have it all, but internally every day was a struggle, the wins were never enough and my thoughts were consumed by rigidity.

Today is the first time since perhaps being a child that I am able to thrive internally and externally. Yes, I still have work to do, no the thoughts don’t just magically disappear, but my capacity to live, fully, to love my work again, to maintain healthy boundaries, and to succeed, feeling great doing it, with healthy relationships, and a strong sense of self is something I’ve always wished for.

Chris was the missing piece of the puzzle. 

I won’t sugarcoat and say it happens like magic. Getting from quasi recovery to where I am now is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Chris doesn’t dictate or give a plan. It’s totally self-directed and that makes it even more daunting, but I truly believe I wouldn’t have recovered without being put in that position.

It took me so long to find Chris, to commit to this, and to take the leap into the unknown with some unconvincing faith it would be for the best. But it’s true- the only lie is the ED.

I lost so many years of my life, so many experiences I closed myself off from, all for the sake of this false belief my control made things better.

Please don’t hesitate – it’ll only take more. If something feels wrong, if life is a little emptier than it should be, if your body just doesn’t seem to be working as it should, then there probably is something wrong, and it probably isn’t where you thought it was.

Chris gave me the keys to my life and I’ll always be grateful.” 

I love the work that I do with clients. Getting to read the above, as well as be part of Sarah’s transformation over the last 18 months, is why I do what I do. 

If there are parts of Sarah’s story that you resonate with and you’d like to make full recovery a reality for you, I’d love to help. 

I’m a leading expert and advocate for full recovery. I’ve been working with clients for over 15 years and understand what needs to happen to recover.

I truly believe that you can reach a place where the eating disorder is a thing of the past and I want to help you get there. If you want to fully recover and drastically increase the quality of your life, I’d love to help.

Want to get a FREE online course created specifically for those wanting full recovery? Discover the first 5 steps to take in your eating disorder recovery. This course shows you how to take action and the exact step-by-step process. To get instant access, click the button below.