“I Can’t Stop Eating!”

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had a client or a potential client tell me “I can’t stop eating!”

For the people I work with, the experience of feeling that their hunger is insatiable is a common one. And alongside this feeling, there are a handful of reasons they’ve come up with to explain this:

• I’m a binge eater
• I’m an emotional eater
• I’ve broken my metabolism
• I’m a food/sugar/carb addict
• I lack willpower
• I should never keep food in the house

While these explanations can feel like facts, there are typically other factors at play. Factors that, thankfully, make this experience a temporary problem, rather than a permanent one.

I want to go through the most common reasons for what is driving this experience of “I can’t stop eating.” For most of the people I see, it isn’t just one of these, but a combination of many of them. 

You’re grazing and never eat enough to feel full

For many clients, when we look at how they’re eating, it feels less like meals punctuated by a gap followed by another meal, and instead, like a day filled with continual grazing.

They’ll eat breakfast. Then an hour and a half later they have something else. An hour later another snack. An hour later something else. And it goes on in this pattern all day.

Or maybe it isn’t this frequent, but every time they eat it is small. 

And rather than feeling like some of these times of eating are “meals” and others are “snacks,” it’s all rather snacky and unsubstantial. In this situation, when clients pay attention to their fullness, nearly every time they finish eating, they’re still hungry.

This experience of eating something and never getting full creates a feeling that “I can’t stop eating”. Because even after a meal has officially finished, they’re still hungry.

You’re going long times between meals

For other people, grazing is the opposite of what they are doing. Instead, they are going long periods between meals.

This could be because of trying to create a reduced “eating window,” so they’re only eating during a 6-hour period every day.

It could be a rule about not eating after 6pm. Or that they’re only eat one large meal after 6pm.

It could be because of believing that snacking is “bad” and so they’re trying to eat only three meals, irrespective of the hunger signals they receive between them.

Whatever the reason, there are long gaps between meals.

So, when they do finally eat, their body is hungry. It’s desperate for energy. And once they start, it feels like the floodgates have opened. The compulsion to eat is never-ending.

Interestingly, when I talk about this with clients, the response is often the same: that they don’t feel hungry. That between meals, they don’t get a single sensation of hunger.

The reason for this isn’t actually that they aren’t hungry, it’s that they’ve stopped recognising what hunger feels like and the many symptoms that can tell them that they’re hungry.

Hunger isn’t only about a growling stomach or feeling empty in the stomach, there are many other signs and symptoms. Which is something I go into in detail in this article.   

You’re eating high-volume but low-calorie food 

For some people, they are having bigger meals throughout the day, at least in terms of volume. But this volume is from high fibre but low-calorie food. Or high liquid, low-calorie food.

When they eat large quantities of salad, raw or lightly steamed vegetables, rice or corn cakes, it can be incredibly filling. Same thing if they are having cauliflower rice, clear broth or other watery soups.

But while this can take up stomach space, it doesn’t deliver the calories that the body needs. 

When this happens, they can find themselves continuing to eat past hunger. Despite feeling over full, they continue to search out food. This could result in eating even more of the high-volume, low-calorie food. Or this can be when they end up having a “binge” – finally eating foods that are forbidden and off-limits. And when this happens, they instantly think “I can’t stop eating!” 

You’re eating unsatisfying food 

Satisfaction with food is hugely undervalued and under-appreciated, and this is especially true for those with a supposedly insatiable hunger. 

When making a food choice, rarely is the question “what sounds the most satisfying to me right now.” It’s more like “what’s the healthiest option? Or “what’s the lowest calorie option?”

If you eat food, even to the point of fullness, but it is not satisfying, you will continue to search for more food. The itch hasn’t been scratched. It doesn’t matter how much you want to convince yourself you’re a healthy eater or that you like this food; if it’s not actually satisfying, then you’ll typically feel compelled to keep eating. 

This again, leads to the conclusion that “I can’t stop eating”. 

Satisfaction with food is crucial and there are many different facets to it. I dedicated this whole podcast episode to it. And if you don’t want to listen to it, you can read the transcript for it here.

You’re restricting your food intake 

Food restriction can take many forms and it is rather ubiquitous in our health and weight-obsessed culture.

Food restriction can look like:

1. Calorie counting – some predetermined number is picked and you (try) to keep to it
2. Macro ratios – where you decide what breakdown of carbs, protein and fat you are going to consume. And usually, this is to restrict one macro, so low fat or low carb
3. Weighing food and making sure not to go over certain amounts
4. Following a specific meal plan that is less than what the body needs
5. Avoiding certain categories or types of foods – carbs, bread, grains, added oils/fat, sugar, dairy, etc
6. Fasting, intermittent fasting or reduced eating windows, like one meal a day
7. Detoxes – temporary amounts of time (like 4 weeks) where you have a liquid-only diet or you cut out supposedly “toxic” foods (sugar, gluten, etc).
8. Following a specific diet, like paleo or carnivore or low fat, where there is an arbitrary list of foods you can or can’t have

There are also three different types of restriction:

Physical Restriction 

This is where you’re restricting your food intake in some form. Which could be any of the options above.

Impending Physical Restriction

This is the planning of future restriction. You could be eating something and tell yourself “this is the last time I’m eating this” or “from Monday, the new diet begins…no more carbs!”

Or you are approaching a meal and you are planning all the ways you are going to reduce your intake and all the things you’re not allowed to eat.

Basically, it is all the ways that you are telling your body that some form of restriction is impending and just around the corner. 

Mental Restriction

This is where you’re physically eating a food, but mentally you aren’t allowing it. 

For example, you’re eating a brownie or ice cream or a pasta dish, but even while consuming it, you’re telling yourself that you shouldn’t be eating it. Maybe this leads you to eat it quickly. Or while standing up. But typically there is some level of dissociation and not being present while eating. 

So even though physically you are consuming something, you are telling yourself this is a bad food and that you shouldn’t be.

Typically, clients don’t just do one of these forms of restriction, they’re doing all three. They are calorie counting and avoiding carbs and making sure not to add any oils to their food.

They’re planning their meals in advance and telling themselves what the “good” foods are that they can have and what the “bad” foods that they can’t have.

And when it invariably “goes wrong,” and they find themselves eating the wrong thing or the wrong amount, they are doing so while chastising themselves for eating in a forbidden way.

Restriction is at the heart of why clients feel like they can’t stop eating, even if they don’t feel like they are restricting (it can be sneaky like that). I’ve created this whole podcast on restriction that goes through this in detail. Again, if you prefer to read as opposed to listening, you can see the transcript here.

You’re using liquids (or other zero-calorie options) to “fill up”

Many clients have found ways to fill up when they are hungry that don’t require food. Or ways to trick their body so the feeling of hunger subsides.

Drinking copious amounts of water.

Having hot drinks like tea and coffee.

Having sugar free fizzy drinks or sugar free energy drinks.

Sucking on lozenges, lollipops or chewing gum.

All these methods feel like they are taking care of hunger. It can even convince someone they weren’t even hungry in the first place.

But when they do finally eat, true hunger rises up. They find themselves eating and being unable to stop.

Because, while in the short term having Coke Zero™ or chewing gum can lessen the feeling of hunger, it’s not providing the body with the energy it really needs. And when energy is finally available, your body wants to make good while it can.

Interestingly, during the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, men had their calorie intake halved for a period of six months. As hunger increased, so did their consumption of tea, coffee, cigarettes and chewing gum.

When the men’s coffee consumption hit 15 cups a day, they set a nine cups a day limit. Some of the men were having 40 packets of chewing gum a day, before a daily limit of two packets was set.

I have done a podcast on the Minnesota Starvation Experiment that you can listen to here. It also has a transcript, which you can read here. 

You’ve lost weight

We’ve been fed this notion that our bodies and weight are completely malleable. That everyone can and should look like the models and celebrities that we see in the media.

And that it’s all just a matter of calories in versus calories out. That if you eat less and move more, you too can become one of the thin, beautiful people.

So you go on a diet, up the exercise and low and behold you start losing weight. Maybe it’s a small amount, maybe it’s a large amount, but the weight is coming off.

And while it may feel easy in the beginning, at some point this changes. You are now finding that you are getting hungrier more often. Or it’s taking bigger meals to satisfy you. Or you’re craving all these foods that are off-limits and not part of your diet.

At some point, you find that you can’t stop eating.

Despite what we have been told, humans come in different shapes and sizes. Your body has a weight set point range that it likes to keep you in. And when you try and move out of this, it fights back. So even when you feel like your weight loss was “healthy” and “sustainable,” your body thinks differently.  

That “healthy” weight loss is now what’s driving your cravings, “binges” and insatiable hunger.

You’re underestimating what your body needs

I’m blown away by the calorie requirements clients believe that they need. 

“Jillian Michaels says no woman should be eating over 1800 calories” 

“I was using MyFitnessPal and it told me I should be consuming 1,400 calories a day”

“My personal trainer told me I should eat 1,200 calories”

Many believe they need even less than this.

Even for people who don’t think in terms of calories, they can have a skewed perspective of what they need.

When you diet or restrict, you get used to seeing a certain portion on a plate or for a snack. Your mind adjusts to this visual cue and so you look at this portion size and think “that should be right.” 

But just because that’s what you intellectually believe, doesn’t mean that’s what your body physically needs.

So, you finish your meals feeling hungry. Twenty minutes later you’re eating again.

Or you have a snack…that turns into a meal twice the size of what you were planning on having for dinner.  

I’ve created a video talking about this and explaining how you can get a better idea of what you really need. Most people are completely floored by what they see.

You’re moving or exercising and this is increasing your calorie needs

Just like many people underestimate how much food they need, many underestimate how much movement they are doing and how much this is increasing their energy needs.

One of the reasons for this can be how good you can feel during an extended period (weeks or months) of doing exercise. To start with, many symptoms may improve. Your performance in the gym or during whatever exercise you’re doing is improving. You can be hitting personal bests and feeling like you are totally nailing it.

But while all these “improvements” are occurring, you’re actually under-eating. And at some point, things start to take a nose dive. Not only are symptoms getting worse, but you find yourself hungrier and unable to stick to your previous diet. And now, you can’t stop eating. 

This can be confusing, as it’s hard to see that during that time when you felt great, you were really pushing yourself into a hole. But this scenario is incredibly common.

Another reason for this misunderstanding of caloric needs is because of the exercise someone is doing now compared to what they used to do.  

Maybe at some point you were exercising intensely and doing so six times a week. Now you’ve quit the intense exercise and are just walking every day. Sure, you’re walking for many hours a day, but it’s just walking, right?

Because your exercise in the past was more intense, you discount what you’re doing now as if it’s nothing. When really, it’s not nothing, it’s a lot.

We have a misguided understanding of exercise and fitness and the demands it places on the body. Yes, exercise can be healthy. But only if you are taking in the appropriate energy and getting adequate rest so the body can repair.

And when this isn’t happening, you’ll likely end up with RED-S or relative energy deficiency in sport. or receive a diagnosis of osteoporosis.  

You’re in recovery from an eating disorder or disordered eating

Many of my clients have had a diagnosis of a specific eating disorder. Or, even when this hasn’t happened, they can recognise that their eating pattern is disordered and has been for a long time.

While recovery doesn’t have one way of being, it’s typical that there will be a need for increased food intake, increased intake of more calorie-dense food and/or a reduction in movement and exercise.

These changes typically lead to an increase in hunger and appetite. Even for someone who felt like they were never hungry, they now notice that their feelings have changed. For many, this leads to extreme hunger or feeling like they can’t stop eating.

While this can feel alarming or terrifying, this is a completely normal and common part of recovery. In essence, the body is trying to make up for all the months, years or decades of restriction and the energy debt that the body finds itself in. For the first time, it feels like food is available and so it wants to make good while it can.

During the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, once the restriction phase ended and the men were allowed free rein with food, they consumed up to 10,000 calories a day. And even when they were excruciatingly full, they felt unsatisfied and like they wanted to continue eating.

But with time, as they allowed themselves to eat the quantities of food that their body was asking for, the amount that they desired came back down. They hadn’t broken their metabolism; their body was simply responding to the previous restriction. And it was temporary.  

You can read and listen to more information about this Minnesota Starvation Experiment here. 

You’re experiencing impaired sleep

If I was to pick the number one thing that genuinely supports health, sleep would be it.

We have access to 24-hour light and content that keeps us constantly looking at a screen and being entertained. But this doesn’t change the fact that we have a biological need for sleep and in amounts that the vast majority of people aren’t getting.

Sleep is when your body is doing its repair work. It’s when you are turning over old tissues and creating new ones. It’s when your mind is solidifying memories and new learnings, as well as dealing with the emotions and stresses of the day.

Sleep is supportive of every system in the body. And when it is off, it can be detrimental to every system in the body.

Sleep can impact on eating in several ways. It can impact many hormones, like leptin and ghrelin, that affect our drive for food and how easily we are satiated. It can also impact on our preference for certain tastes, like sweetness, and the level of it that we desire.

Basically, when sleep is impaired, you will have stronger cravings, need more food to feel satiated and have a pull towards more highly palatable and calorie-dense food.

Interestingly, being in a restrictive, under-fuelled state also prevents proper sleep. It can make it more difficult to fall asleep. Or you can wake in the night and struggle to fall back to sleep.

There are many things that you can do to support proper sleep. The foundation for this should be to be eating enough and in a way that is supporting everything you are asking of your body each day. 

I’ve done a two-part episode all on sleep that you can listen to here and here. And if you want to read the transcripts instead of listening, you can do so here and here.

Food is being used as a coping mechanism

Life is tough. Despite the way Instagram can skew our view of how everyone else is living, the reality is that life is a rollercoaster of struggles punctuated by moments of happiness and joy. And some people don’t even get these temporary moments of delight.

This isn’t to say that there aren’t those who are optimistic, content and have a mostly enjoyable life. But even in these cases, it is rarely this journey of ceaseless bliss.  

So to deal with the challenges of life, we all have our coping mechanisms. Ways of altering our mood, decompressing or simply numbing out. And food can be one of these ways of coping, sometimes referred to as emotional eating.

This can take different forms.  

It could be something benign, like grabbing a take away every Friday night as a way of unwinding.

Or, it could be something more problematic, because it is someone’s only coping mechanism. Where, many times a week or on a daily basis, they eat food as a way of numbing their emotions, only to feel shame afterwards.

What I’ve found from those who are using food as a coping mechanism in this more problematic way is that food is front of mind because of restriction. They are participating in many of the other ideas already touched on.

In this case, new coping skills and learning a health coping progression are important. But this isn’t going to work unless the restriction and their relationship with food are dealt with first (or at least alongside).    

The importance of understanding what’s really going on

As you’ve read above, there are many reasons why you can get to a place of feeling your hunger is never-ending and you can’t stop eating.

But these aren’t the typical reasons people have reached. Or the advice that’s given online.

It’s normally about convincing someone they are a sugar addict and that, like with other addictions, abstinence is the key. That they shouldn’t keep certain foods in the house or else the inevitable will happen. Basically, the recommendation is a diet.

And it often works…temporarily. And then the floodgates open and again you’re at a place of feeling uncontrollable around food.

The reason that it’s temporary is that the real driver hasn’t been dealt with.

My focus is the other way around. What happens in the long term is what truly matters. 

You get to that sustainable place with food where you truly feel at peace.

You can eat when you’re hungry and stop when you are full.

You can keep all types of food in the house.

You have moved past having a list of good and bad foods.

Restriction in all forms is no longer used or needed. Nor are other tricks or hacks.

You’ve truly become an intuitive eater and can trust your body.

Want Help?

If you find that you can’t stop eating, I’d love to help. 

I’m a leading expert and advocate for full recovery. I’ve been working with clients for over 15 years and understand what needs to happen to recover.

I truly believe that you can reach a place where the eating disorder is a thing of the past and I want to help you get there. If you want to fully recover and drastically increase the quality of your life, I’d love to help.

Want to get a FREE online course created specifically for those wanting full recovery? Discover the first 5 steps to take in your eating disorder recovery. This course shows you how to take action and the exact step-by-step process. To get instant access, click the button below.