As I talk about in my end of year podcasts (here, here, and here) I’m a lover of books. One of my great pleasures in life is sitting down and reading in the evening.

It’s how I finish most days and I regularly have multiple books on the go at the same time.

One of the books I’m currently reading is Ray Dalio’s Principles. And while I’m only half way through, it’s one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. It’s one of those books that, if I have a chance to bring it up in conversation, I do so.

Prior to picking up the book, I read this fantastic blog post on how it made it’s journey from a PDF that was downloaded over 3 million times to finally becoming a real life book that’s become a New York Times bestseller.

In the same week, I had dinner with a friend, who out of the blue mentioned the book and told me how incredible it was. His mother had recommended it to him as she’d been equally floored by it.

So given this rave review from a friend I massively respect and trust, I immediately came home from dinner and ordered the book.

Making Decisions

Ray Dalio is a self-made billionaire, worth over 17 billion. His company, Bridgewater, is a hedge fund that manages roughly £160 billion and is the most successful hedge fund of all time. They are the Apple of hedge funds and Dalio is often likened to Steve Jobs.

In the book, Dalio outlines his Principles for life and business. He talks about how he thinks about the world and how he makes decisions.

Why this is fascinating is because these principles have been decades in the making. It’s easy for someone to reach their 70s, have been very successful and then sit down and think of the reason for why this is so. To create a post hoc story for why their life has turned out as it has.

But in Dalio’s case, these principles have been a core of how he’s built his company. They were written down, tested and iterated on. The company built software so they could be better decision makers and so the guiding principles were created to direct this software.

Know Thyself

One of the points that Dalio hammers home is the importance of knowing oneself.

What is important in your life?

How do you like to spend your time?

What is your thinking style?

What is your learning style?

What does meaningful work look like to you?

Now, these questions aren’t always the easiest to answer. It’s often a messy process of life struggles and up and downs that reveal the truth. So the chances of someone in their 20s knowing this is rare.

But the issue I see, is that the search for these answers is undertaken by focusing on external sources.

What is society telling us we should like?

What is the culture convincing us is the right answer?

And when we look to the media, culture, and society at large to be our oracle for what’s important, we get back a very narrow and homogenised response.

Being Successful

One of the responses that comes back is this narrow way of thinking about success. To be successful you have to be:

Changing the world

Famous (or at least famous in your corner of the world)   

Earning a lot of money

The idea of having an ordinary life is the antithesis of this. Unless we are shaking things up and working endless hours to rise to stardom, we are wasting our time.

But why is this the case? I’m massively inspired by people like Elon Musk, but is his the only way to be successful?

Part of the reason why we want to chase this kind of success is how we believe it will make us feel. And the same can be said for those that chase the perfect body, using endless exercise and dieting to get themselves there.

We believe that if we achieve this – if we earn more money, we have more status, we run a successful business – that life will be easier. That we’ll feel secure and confident within our self.

Dalio seems like the perfect example of this. He’s one of the richest people on the planet and can have whatever he wants. He’s built an incredibly successful business and spent his life doing work he finds meaningful. He’s been happily married to the same woman for over 40 years (no messy divorces) and has 4 kids.

You’d expect everyday to be bliss and worry free. Let me share a couple of quotes that counters this idea:

“In my early years, I looked up to extraordinary people, thinking they were successful because they were extraordinary. After I got to know such people personally, I realised that all of them – like me, like everyone – makes mistakes, struggles with their weaknesses, and don’t feel that they are particularly special or great. They are no happier than the rest of us, and they struggle just as much or more than average folks. Even after they surpass their wildest dreams, they still experience more struggle than glory. This has certainly been true for me. While I surpassed my wildest dreams decades ago, I am still struggling today.”

“Speaking to others in comparable positions, I discovered that even the richest people feel short of the money they need to do the things they want to do”

“My assessment is that the incremental benefits of having a lot and being on top are not nearly as great as most people think. Having the basics – a good bed to sleep in, good relationships, good food and good sex – is most important, and those things don’t get much better when you have a lot of money or worse when you have less. And that people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special that those one meets at the bottom or in between.

The marginal benefits of having more fall off pretty quickly. In fact, having a lot more is worse than having a moderate amount more because it comes with a heavy burden. Being on top gives you a wider range of options, but it also requires more of you. Being well-known is probably worse than being anonymous, all things considered. And while the beneficial impact one can have on others is great, when you put it in perspective, it is still infinitesimally small.  For all those reasons, I cannot say that having an intense life filled with accomplishments is better than having a relaxed life filled with savouring.”

The Take Home Message

There’s no amount of money or way your body could look that prevents the stresses and challenges of life. Yes, living in abject poverty is significantly worse that having a nice house and a steady income. But once you hit a certain threshold, every bit of extra money makes little difference to overall happiness.

So what Dalio stresses in the book is to discover who you are and what you like doing. Irrespective of what you think society is telling you, how do you want to live your life?

By doing this you won’t avoid heartbreak, death of loved ones, or the struggles of life. But you will be at least spending your time in a way that fills you up and brings joy and meaning to your life. Which is actually what most people are searching for, but are simply mistaken in how to achieve it.

Getting Help On Your Recovery Journey

I’m a leading expert and advocate for full recovery. I’ve been working with clients for over 15 years and understand what needs to happen to recover.

I truly believe that you can reach a place where the eating disorder is a thing of the past and I want to help you get there. If you want to fully recover and drastically increase the quality of your life, I’d love to help.

Want to get a FREE online course created specifically for those wanting full recovery? Discover the first 5 steps to take in your eating disorder recovery. This course shows you how to take action and the exact step-by-step process. To get instant access, click the button below.