Today I want to answer a question that I regularly get from clients and from people who contact me. While the question can be asked in different ways, let me just paraphrase it into one simple questions which is “what should I eat when I go to a restaurant?”

So the answer to this question really depends on the frequency of how often someone is eating out.

If eating out is something that occurs once or twice a week, my answer to the question is to eat absolutely anything you want. Whatever your heart desires, just go for it.

And the reason for this suggestion to throw caution to the wind is that what someone does for one or two meals a week is (almost) completely inconsequential to their health. Undoubtedly there will be an exception to this rule but except for these outliers one or two meals a week, no matter how “bad” (or how good for that matter) won’t make much of a difference.

(The assumption I’m making here is that when people are at home they are eating “healthy” food (whatever that may mean for that person). Because even if they aren’t, and that they are eating poorly at home, it is not really the restaurant meal that is the chief concern and the focus should be on what they do when they are preparing their own meals.)

Now I know a lot of people are envisioning that my suggestion to clients to eat “whatever they want” when eating out will lead to people eating “badly” or going for the “unhealthiest” and most highly palatable things on the menu. In reality, this isn’t necessarily the case and just because someone has permission to eat what they want doesn’t mean they will necessarily make the choice of the “unhealthiest” option.

I was speaking to a client this week. She said that Friday night has always been the night where she would go out for a meal or get a take away. She used to spend all week trying to be “good “…or at least beating herself up when she hadn’t been. But for Friday night she always “allowed” herself to have what she wanted.

She said that what used to happen was that she would order “indulgent” foods, eat masses of them and typically end up feeling physically ill.

Through working with her I’ve advised her that no foods are off limits on any days. She can eat what she wants but I request that she pays attention to what does and doesn’t work for her (physically, mentally and emotionally).

On Friday nights she still likes to go out or get a take away, but now she doesn’t simply follow her palate. The other night she was trying to decide what to eat and ended up picking sushi. She finished the meal and felt great. She even left some for the next day.

Previously this would have never happened. She would never of picked this food and she would have over eaten whatever she had picked.

(I will add that her reason for picking this option on Friday night isn’t because she is eating “poorly” during the week. Despite the fact that I haven’t made any foods off limits, she is now eating healthier and cooking more for herself).

And if next week she picks a burger or a pizza or tub of ice cream, this won’t be a fall from grace. It will simply be her making a decision about what to eat.

If the person who asks me about what to eat out at restaurants is eating out regularly, then my response will be different. If someone is eating out five times a week, or it’s daily or multiple times a day, then a different approach is needed.

Because restaurant food is making up a larger percentage of their food intake, these food choices are more likely to have an impact on their overall health.

In these instances my suggestion is for someone to pay more attention when they are out to their choices. This isn’t about judgment or moralising food choices but an awareness about what foods work for them from a health perspective.

Maybe a good way of thinking about this would be “if I was at home making myself food, what would I make?” Often when people are making food at home a meal is more balanced than when eating out. There will be some protein, some starchy vegetables and some greens or a salad. I’m obviously making a massive generalisation and assumption, as I have no idea what you eat at home, but from my experience of working with clients this would be a pretty typical meal prepared at home.

So if this is the case, and this is the stuff that someone does best on, then this is what they should order when they are out. Maybe not every time and some of the time they can pick whatever they want, but if eating out takes up a large percentage of their meals it makes sense to be picking more of the “healthier” options when they’re out.

But with this, you don’t want to forget about your preferences. My advice isn’t to eat bland and unappealing food because you think you should. It is to find a middle ground between what tastes nice that also supports your health goals.

I would also answer the question about what to eat at restaurants differently if I’m working with someone who is overcoming disordered eating for something like orthorexia. With a condition like this, eating can be very anxiety inducing and people can have strict rules around “good” and “bad” foods.

In a situation like this I will often suggest that eating out can be used as a way of challenging and expanding someone’s eating repertoire. I’ll suggest they go to “fast food” restaurant they’d normally avoid. Or when they go to a restaurant I’ll have them pick something they wouldn’t normally go for. Or I have them get the waiter or waitress to tell them their favourite dish and suggest they go with that.

These are ways for them to eat different foods and see that their fears about “what was going to happen” doesn’t happen. Or if their fear does come true (i.e. that they will suffer with bloating) that it passes and that it is not as bad as they told themselves it would be.

With issues like this it is the anticipation that is always the worst. When clients actually eat the food or go to the social event, the response is that they genuinely enjoyed it, that the worry was way worse than the actual experience.

Like everything with health, what to eat when you’re out depends on the context. Eating out isn’t inherently bad and you don’t have to cook most of your meals to be healthy. But depending on how often it happens and your current situation, this should help guide you in the choices you make.

Getting Help On Your Recovery Journey

I’m a leading expert and advocate for full recovery. I’ve been working with clients for over 15 years and understand what needs to happen to recover.

I truly believe that you can reach a place where the eating disorder is a thing of the past and I want to help you get there. If you want to fully recover and drastically increase the quality of your life, I’d love to help.

Want to get a FREE online course created specifically for those wanting full recovery? Discover the first 5 steps to take in your eating disorder recovery. This course shows you how to take action and the exact step-by-step process. To get instant access, click the button below.